Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
