id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
