I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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