I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
