I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
