so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
BRING THE BAGELS
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
