They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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