im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
