I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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