Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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