Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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