I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
