Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
