I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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