hell yes lets make some ravioli
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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