I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize