I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
