There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
