Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
