I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
