he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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