so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
