you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
