he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
