i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
