Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
