nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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