worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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