I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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