uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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