Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize