She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
