He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A bitchslap is in order.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
