chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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