When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
