My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
