I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize