Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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