Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
