Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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