I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
