That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i think i just lost a toe
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
