his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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