Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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