i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
