I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
