I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
