My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
