yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
