oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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