I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
