Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
