he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
