I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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