What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Blow job season was short but glorious.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
