Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
