Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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