There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize