I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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