The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my being single is dangerous.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
