I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
