Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
