we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
