I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
